Our superior quality products include: (1) pocket lint from a guy named John Peterson; (2) gum from under the chairs of a DMV in Cleveland; (3) fruitcake crumbs carried a few meters outside a sheriff’s office in rural Alabama by ants; (4) select pebbles that get lodged in John Peterson’s boot treads; (5) hair balls from a Garfield lookalike; (6) wet socks from various puddles (sour milk, pea soup, sauerkraut water); (7) polished toenail clippings (multiracial); (8) John Peterson’s kitchen sink dish scraps.